


Be Still My Beating Heart

by To_the_end_of_the_line



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Immortality, M/M, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 15:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14980496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/To_the_end_of_the_line/pseuds/To_the_end_of_the_line
Summary: In a world decimated by war, what hope is there for something as fragile and beautiful as love?





	Be Still My Beating Heart

It happened sooner than any of them could have anticipated.  
Jace felt it first.  
Magnus felt it hardest.  
They were running, through fields painted red with the blood of shadowhunters and downworlders alike- both friend and foe. The world felt uneven beneath their feet but to fall would've been their demise. Magnus couldn't keep track. Through flashes of orange and brown, he lost track of everything and the fabric of the universe blended into a bitter fight for survival.   
His lungs ached in his chest and he had no idea whether it was him breathing that hard or if it was any one of the others sprinting beside him.   
A harrowing yell pierces through the veil and Magnus- despite his survival instincts urging him otherwise- stops dead in his tracks, watching as Jace falls to his knees.   
“Jace?” Clary's voice barely a whisper over the sounds of swords clashing and gunfire. Magnus can feel no pain emanating from the shadowhunter nor can he see any wounds.   
“Where's Alec?” Isabelle's eyes are wide and her gaze fleeting in a desperate but ultimately futile search for her brother. Fear settles in the pit of Magnus' heart like a boulder- a heavy burden settling upon his shoulders.   
He kneels down in front of the blond who is quivering in agony by now and without any reluctance or thought spared for Jace reaches towards his shirt, lifting it to reveal a bare expanse of flesh beneath.   
His heart stops and he's on his feet in mere seconds. Silence settles among them but Magnus can hear nothing over the blood pounding in his ears.   
“Magnus.” Isabelle reaches for him, her eyes full of pain and sympathy and loss but Magnus only feels anger and determination in return. His mind settles on Alexander, searching their frayed connection for a trace of him and at the glimpse of his body settling in the mud he takes of running towards the massacre. He can still feel him.  
As long as he can feel him there is hope.   
Simon and Raphael's reactions are almost immediate, grabbing him by the arms before he can move any further and forcing him into submission.  
“Go,” Magnus growls.   
“You go back and you're dead.” Raphael snarls at him, baring his fangs. Magnus has been the closest thing Raphael ever had to a father. He took both him and Simon in, in their darkest times and protected them asking for nothing in return.   
“I feel him. I can't leave him.” Simon's expression falters. Raphael remains impassive.  
“Then we're going with you.” Both vampires owe Magnus so much and with their gratitude, they signed a declaration of fiercely unwavering loyalty on the dotted line.   
He wants to protest but with each second he feels the connection fading. Alexander is slipping away from him. With a nod to the vampires they begin their search once again. Magnus finds himself undoubtedly grateful for their speed and diligence.  
The battle rages on up ahead. Shells explode to his left and the warlock finds himself missing the times when war consisted primarily of swords and hand-to-hand, as his heart lurches in his chest. Another stream of pain courses through Alec's body and Magnus feels it with pure fury building in his chest. The small connection residing deep within his soul grows weaker and weaker with every passing second.   
In his mind's eye, he sees Alexander- a picture of what he imagines his state to be- bloodied, pierced, sinking into the mud seconds away from a shell exploding this side of too close. He doesn't need to imagine the agony. He wishes he could live in denial but he feels every ache, every wound, every fear, every bitter lonely thought of abandonment.   
It feels like forever. It feels like time is slipping away and this feeling is becoming a constant. Three centuries have nothing on the fear he feels now.   
“Over here.” His head snaps, feet already running towards the voice before he can process who said it or why. He's lost all sense of self-preservation and now only has one goal in mind- the only goal that has ever or will ever matter.   
“Alexander!” He falls to his knees beside the man, heart aching as his eyes roam over every stretch of his body assessing each new wound and feeling more and more useless. He acts on instinct not only to feel the reassuring, if slow, thud of the other man's pulse, but to sending his magic, his strength, his very being coursing through the man in an attempt to keep his heart beating. The war fades into oblivion around them. A hollow nothingness in comparison to the substantial whole they are facing.  
His eyes flutter and it's like an out of body experience.   
“Magnus,” he gasps through gritted teeth. “You were supposed to leave me. I...” A loud his leaves his lips and Magnus wishes their roles were reversed. He wishes he was the one lying here, gaping wounds in his chest, bleeding within an inch of his life. “We had an agreement.”  
“Would you have done any different?” And he knows that the shadowhunter cannot dispute that fact. “Besides 300 years is enough for any man.” His bitter laugh strikes something akin to sorrow in Alec's eyes. He hates himself for it just a little.  
“We need to move,” Simon mumbles behind him. It is only now he notices the vampires flanking him, his heart swells just a touch. A shell detonates a little more than too close and Magnus throws himself over Alec in protection. A small amount of shrapnel embeds itself in his skin but he pays it no mind. He's hoisting Alec up on to his back before the other can even begin to protest. He uses his remaining energy to stunt the blood flow from his wounds with his magic.   
It's slow progress only made quicker by Alec's reassuring breaths in his ear. He can see them up in the distance. Izzy's bloodstained smile, Jace's sweet relief and Clary's panicked indifference.   
“I love you, Magnus Bane.” And all of a sudden his world is crashing down again because that feels too final. Alec's grip loosens and he has no choice but to lower the other to the ground. “Please... remember. I love you... so much.” Blood soaks his chin as he pauses every couple of words to cough up a little more.   
“Don't go. Alexander, please.” Tears races down his cheeks as he cradles his love in his arms, tight against his chest. He can feel him slipping, like sand through his fingers. This man, one of many lovers, but the only one to ever hurt this much, to leave this much of an abyss in his soul. Alexander Lightwood- his soulmate. And isn't it so typical that he has waited over 300 years for this man to lose him in a matter of months? There is no 'after Alexander', there is nothing beyond this. He can safely say this is the one thing he cannot survive and he sure as fucking hell doesn't want to. “Don't leave me alone again.”   
“I'm sorry. I... love you... remember... plea-” His words are interrupted by another awful bloody gargle, before silence. His body goes limps, tearing the last shred of completion from Magnus's body.   
His body shakes and he can't let go. Izzy's screams pierce through the veil before arms try to pull him away from Alec but he isn't leaving. He can't leave.   
“GO!” His snarls are animalistic but who do they think they fucking are? How dare they have the audacity to try and pull Magnus away. “LEAVE ME!” If Alec is gone, he wants to be too. 300 years of lost lovers never prepared him for this. 300 years of lost lovers never prepared him to lose love.   
“Magn-”  
“GO!” The Earth shakes around them as flames surround them forming an impenetrable barrier between the two and the real world. Magnus doesn't move nor say a word as he slowly allows his magic to still his beating heart. He wants his last thoughts to be Alexander.   
“I love you too.”


End file.
